When Me and My Friends are Loose in Middle Earth!
by LegolasLover and GubblebumPony
Summary: Um, I so suck at summaries. Read and find out and (hopefully) review! PG for occasional swearing. 5 up!
1. The Hobbits YAY!

LOTR With a TWIST!  
  
By GubblebumPony  
  
The Hobbits YAY!  
  
Disclaimer: Tolkien owns LOTR. Tolkien is dead. I am not Tolkien, therefore I do not own LOTR and am not dead. I think.  
  
^*^*^*^  
  
*Setting is at the local park with my two best friends.*  
  
"Hey Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaddyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. . ." I said cheerfully in a sing-song voice.  
  
"Oh whaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?" My best friend replied in an imitation of my own tone.  
  
"And Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaandyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. . ." I continued, trying to get my other best friend's attention.  
  
"Yeah? What? Where's the rubber ducky?"  
  
I smiled. "Let's play pretend."  
  
"What pretend, Becky?"(A/N: Names changed. Please don't ask why. I have no answer.) Maddy and Andy asked simultaneously.  
  
"The pretend where we're in Middle Earth with the hobbits in Bree to meet Strider with them and go to Rivendell with the Elves."  
  
"OK!" said Maddy.  
  
"Can we be Elves too?" asked Andy. "I like Elves. Especially Legolas. Legolas is pretty."  
  
Maddy and I just stared at her weirdly. Andy blushed. "Well he is!" she protested.  
  
"Yeah, you could put it that way. . .OK." I said. "We're Elves. Now let's go!"  
  
We started running to the playground when a hole suddenly appeared in front of our feet.  
  
We fell down it.  
  
^*^*^*^  
  
We fell at the gate of the Prancing Pony. Our pretend suddenly seemed all too real.  
  
"Where are we?" said Andy.  
  
"Uh, like, DUH. We're in Bree." Maddy replied.  
  
"But. . .but we didn't start our pretend yet. . ."  
  
"No, we're actually here, I think," I replied.  
  
Andy jumped up. "Wicked! Who needs pretend when we've got the real thing?" "Yeah! Now we've finally grown out of that babyish habit, let's explore!" Maddy squealed.  
  
"Hey, I wonder if Frodo and that are still here?" I wondered.  
  
"Let's check it out!" Andy exclaimed, helping us up.  
  
While Maddy and I were brushing ourselves off, Andy reached up one hand to brush her hair behind her ear. This was followed by a shriek of joy.  
  
"We're Elves!" Andy nearly screamed.  
  
"No shit," Maddy said.  
  
"Oh my god YES! This is so cool!" I cried. I opened the door of the Prancing Pony and the three of us crept in silently so we wouldn't be noticed. When we thought it was safe, we all stood up to full Elvish height again.  
  
"Look, there's the hobbits! And Aragorn!" Maddy hissed.  
  
"Let's talk to them," I whispered back.  
  
Andy and Maddy nodded quickly. We walked casually over.  
  
"Hi!" I said cheerfully.  
  
The five just stared at us.  
  
Andy decided to explain. "Uh, we're three Elven travellers. Our names are Andy, Maddy, and Becky."  
  
Aragorn started to speak. "Some know me as Str -"  
  
"Aragorn son of Arathorn and heir to the throne of Gondor," I interrupted, dragging my words out dramatically.  
  
Everyone but me, Andy and Maddy looked stunned.  
  
Maddy smiled a little evilly and turned to the hobbits. "And you are Frodo, Sam, Meriadoc, and Peregin."  
  
Now the hobbits looked even more stunned.  
  
Andy decided to take things a little further. She whispered something in Frodo's ear.  
  
Frodo gasped. "You - you know of the ring?"  
  
"Uh, yeah. We wanna help you guys out a little on this quest thingy of yours."  
  
Aragorn stood. "We cannot speak of this here," he said quietly and giving us weird looks.  
  
"You mean take it outside?" Maddy asked innocently.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"OK."  
  
We led the five out of the hotel.  
  
"You wish to join us in our journey to Rivendell?" Aragorn asked warily.  
  
"Yeah-and-not-only-that-we-wanna-be-part-of-the-fellowship-of-the-ring-so- that-we-can-all-go-with-you-guys-Legolas-Gimli-Borimir-and-Gandalf-on-the- quest-of-the-one-ring-and-go-to-mordor-and-watch-it-be-destroyed-no-wait-we- wanna-destroy-it-ourselves-so-canwe canwe canwe pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaassssssssssseeeeeeeeeee??????" Andy replied all too quickly.  
  
Aragorn gave us an even weirder look. "You are unarmed. How are you to fight without weapons?"  
  
"Karate?" I said.  
  
"OK. . .then. . ." Aragorn appeared to be more and more scared of us every second.  
  
The hobbits, however, had taken a liking to us.  
  
"Oh, Strider? Can we keep them? Pleeeeeaaaaase?" Merry pleaded.  
  
We put on our most angelic faces.  
  
"Oh, alright. But they may be spies," Aragorn said, giving in.  
  
"Yes! Charlie's Angels!" I cried.  
  
We all instantly snapped into position with our little pretend guns. Y'know that pose the Charlie's Angels do? Yeah. That one.  
  
Stunned silence.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
^*^*^*^  
  
Hehehe it's so much FUN writing this! OK R&R! Bye! 


	2. Rivendell and Legolas

LOTR With a TWIST!  
  
Rivendell and Legolas  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own nothin'.  
  
^*^*^*^  
  
"Aragorn no quisiera que viniéramos," I said in Spanish. (A/N: conversation in English at bottom of screen.)  
  
"No, pero los hobbits," Maddy replied.  
  
Obviously Aragorn thought we were speaking Elvish and was wondering why he couldn't understand us.  
  
"Es cuatro contra uno," Andy piped up. "Conjeturo que estamos adentro!"  
  
"OK, let's go!" I said, using English again.  
  
"OK. . ." Aragorn said. He thought better to ask what we had said about him and the hobbits.  
  
^*^*^*^  
  
"Rivendell!" I squealed.  
  
"Legolas will be here," Andy reminded me excitedly.  
  
Sure enough, as we entered Rivendell, we saw Legolas standing out on the balcony of the House of Elrond.  
  
"He wasn't there in the movie," Maddy whispered.  
  
I shrugged. "Meh."  
  
We continued up to the balcony to meet the Elf.  
  
"Legolas, Prince of Mirkwood," Andy greeted him. "We thought we would find you here."  
  
Legolas turned to see us. A look of confusion crossed his face. "Who are you?" he asked.  
  
"Uh, I'm Becky, this is Andy and this is Maddy." I explained.  
  
He still looked confused. "Miladies, you bear such strange garments."  
  
That's when we realised we weren't wearing Elven robes. I was wearing a denim skirt, thongs, a hot pink singlet top and a blue visor. Maddy wore faded denim jeans, Etnie shoes, a baby blue jacket over a red shirt, and a sideways baseball cap. And Andy was just being plain weird Andy, in short denim overalls, knee-high clown socks, Gallaz sneakers, a rainbow striped shirt and a Dockers beanie. Yeah, a DOCKERS beanie. You can't say that's normal. (A/N: No offence to all you Freo fans out there. Sorry.)  
  
"What?" I protested. "Denim is so in right now. Anyway, it's not like we have any robes."  
  
This just seemed to make him more confused. Poor elf, I thought.  
  
"Hey, wanna learn Spanish?" Andy suddenly piped up.  
  
Legolas stared at us. "What. . .what is 'Spanish?'"  
  
"A language," Andy replied. "Well, d'ya wanna learn or not?"  
  
"Alright," agreed Legolas, relieved that we had finally said something he understood.  
  
^*^*^*^  
  
Legolas seemed to be a fast learner. A VERY fast learner. He knew most words in 1 day and by the end of 2 days he could speak long, complicated sentences. By the end of 3 days, he was as good as us! A few more day's rest, and then it would be the Council of Elrond. Damn it, the Council SUCKS. It's SO boring.  
  
"Usted aspira, Aragorn!" Legolas said as the four of us passed him.  
  
"I can only assume that you said 'hello'," said Aragorn, and continued on his way.  
  
We all snickered. What Legolas had actually said was, 'You suck, Aragorn!'  
  
"I find this suprisingly amusing," Legolas smiled.  
  
"Stick with us, Legolas," Maddy said, patting him on the back; "and you'll go a long way."  
  
"What is my next task to be?" Legolas asked.  
  
I whispered something in his ear. We all laughed.  
  
^*^*^*^  
  
Like it? Updates soon, but first: REVIEWS! Yessssss, musst have more reviewsssssss. . .my preciousssssssss. . .  
  
Oh yeah, and our Spanish conversation was:  
  
"Aragorn does not want us to come," I said in Spanish.  
  
"No, but the hobbits do," Maddy replied.  
  
Obviously Aragorn thought we were speaking Elvish and was wondering why he couldn't understand us.  
  
"It's four against one," Andy piped up. "I guess we're in!" 


	3. What’s a Council Without a Little FUN? H...

LOTR With a TWIST!  
  
What's a Council Without a Little FUN?? Hehehe!  
  
Disclaimer: Whatever,,, you know I don't own it OK?  
  
^*^*^*^  
  
OK, it's the Council of Elrond and all boring stuff's happening; let's skip to the good bit.  
  
"You have my sword," said Aragorn.  
  
"And my axe," said Gimli.  
  
Legolas stood and winked at us. "Y usted tiene mi arco!" he cried. (trans. at bottom)  
  
Stunned silence.  
  
"What did you say?" Elrond.  
  
"Dije que ' y usted tiene mi arco.' Pero conjeturo que usted no podría entender que el beacause usted no habla español. Las tres señoras de Elven me enseñaron que hablar español, y me están alegre de eso. Es una lengua hermosa. Puede usted entenderme? Conjeturo no. Solamente la lata de las señoras, solamente cuatro la sabemos aquí. Oh bien, me supongo que continuaré paseando hasta que usted pierde sus mentes, o mato. Junto, le conduciremos al borde de la locura!!!!" Legolas sat.  
  
Elrond shook his head and rubbed his temple.  
  
I nodded to Maddy and Andy. This was our cue.  
  
"And you have whatever weapons we manage to find!"  
  
"Damn it, we're gonna destroy that ring!" I yelled.  
  
More stunned silence.  
  
We sat down.  
  
^*^*^*^  
  
*Woody Woodpecker laugh* Sorry, that chapter was really short. Oh well, anyways, R&R people! 


	4. The Elves of Insanity!

LOTR With a TWIST!  
  
The Elves. . .of Insanity!  
  
Disclaimer: *in whiny voice* The dog ate it!  
  
^*^*^*^  
  
*After the Council of Elrond*  
  
"Hey, Legolas," I called.  
  
Legolas turned and smiled at Mandy, Andy and I. He walked over. "Yeah?"  
  
"I was thinking. . ." I said. "We could be, like, a group. Y'know, like one that annoys people?"  
  
Legolas thought it over. "OK," he said. "Count me in." We had been teaching Legolas the kind of speech used on Earth.  
  
"Now. . .all we need is a name. . ." said Mandy. "How about, the Annoying Elves?"  
  
"Nah," said Andy. "Elves of Annoyance?"  
  
Then Legolas spoke up. "The Elves of Insanity?"  
  
We all looked at him. "It's perfect!" said Andy.  
  
"So we're the Elves of Insanity," said Andy. "Legolas, can you show us where the weapons are?"  
  
"Sure, OK."  
  
Legolas led us to Elrond's weapon cupboard.  
  
"Hey," I said. "Here's two sai, and a bo!" Sai are a kind of Japanese sword, and a bo was a big wooden Japanese stick. Since I do karate, these were perfect for me. I also picked out a fancy bow and quiver, with lots of arrows.  
  
Andy picked up two long swords and spun them around. "Cool," she said. She and Mandy also picked out a bow and arrows.  
  
We all picked out Elven shields, and Mandy also picked six knives. "OK, Lego-man," she said. "Lead us to the clothes section."  
  
Legolas did as he was told. "The clothes cupboard," he announced.  
  
I opened the cupboard and found a little green tunic, like Link's from The Legend of Zelda, for anyone who has played those games. I put my sai, bo and bow in my belt, and the quiver went on the back of my tunic.  
  
Andy, however, was more interested in a Japanese fighting dress. "Ooh, this is pretty," she commented. She changed into it. It was purple, blue and red, with little purple ribbons on the sides of the belt. She attached her swords to her belt, and did the same thing with her bow and arrows as I had mine.  
  
Mandy went for the total brown look, with brown shirt, pants, jacket, belt and cloak. "OK, my knives can go in back of my jacket with my quiver, and my bow goes in my belt." She put her weapons away accordingly.  
  
"Yay, OK we're ready," I said.  
  
*Leaving Rivendell*  
  
"You should fear the many eyes of the servants of Sauron," said Elrond as we stood outside Rivendell. "I do not doubt that the news of the discomfiture of the Riders has already reached him, and he will be filled with wrath. Soon now his spies on foot and wing will be abroad in the northern lands. Even of the sky above you must beware as you go on your way."  
  
Borimir held up his war-horn. "Loud and clear it sounds in the valleys of the hills. Then let all the -"  
  
"Yeah whatever," said Mandy. "Just don't blow the bloody horn, OK?"  
  
Borimir put the horn away. ". . .OK."  
  
There was a silence. Then, "That animal can nearly talk," Sam said, referring to Bill the Pony, "and would talk, if he stayed here much longer. He gave me a look as plain as Mr. Pippin could speak it: 'if you don't let me go with you, Sam, I'll follow on my own.'"  
  
"Ummm. . .riiiiiight. . ." I said slowly. "OK let's go!"  
  
"Wait," said Frodo. "Gandalf is not here yet!"  
  
"Oh yeah," I said.  
  
Sam spoke to Bill. "Bill, my lad, you oughtn't to have took up with us. You could have stayed here and et the best hay till the new grass comes."  
  
"Don't you think that's kinda your fault?" Andy asked. "I mean, you could have left him here to eat hay and whatnot. But you didn't, and we're going to end up leaving him behind anyway."  
  
"That will NEVER happen!" Sam practically yelled.  
  
"Aaaaaw, OK, shhhhh. . ." soothed Maddy, running over to pat Sam on the head. The hobbits are some of her favourite characters.  
  
Sam stood there, looking stunned and confused.  
  
"Stop confusing him," Strider said irritably.  
  
"I'm CALMING him DOWN, you moronic idiot mierda faced pig!" Maddy yelled loudly. (A/N: Mierda {spanish} = shit)  
  
Everyone stared at her for a moment. Then Legolas, Andy and I fell on the ground laughing.  
  
"Gandalf - hehehe - is - cough - here!" Legolas managed to choke out.  
  
And indeed, Gandalf the wizard strode toward us.  
  
"We all ready?" I asked impatiently. "Right then - let's go!"  
  
^*^*^*^  
  
Um. . .yeah. R&R. . .  
  
OK! It seems that I forgot to put the Spanish to English translation in for chapter 3, and so hardly anyone knows what he said. Well, here is the translation!!:  
  
"I said 'and you have my bow.' But I suppose that you could not understand me beacause you do not speak Spanish. The three Elven ladies taught to me to speak Spanish, and I am glad of it. It is a beautiful language. Can you understand me? I suppose not. Only the ladies can, only we four know it. Oh well, I assume that I will continue talking until you lose your minds, or kill me. Together, we will drive you all to the brink of insanity!!!!"  
  
Okies, so, sorry about that, but now you know what he said! :D  
  
Elf Faith: Thankyou, I'm glad that you find my story funny. I will update as soon as I can.  
  
A'mael: I will take this fic through to the end, although it may take a while... keep reading!  
  
Nitnat3: Ooh yay! Another person who read my sister's story too! Yes, it was a little short but I had run out of ideas. Well, this is a long(ish) chapter to make up for it. Hope you enjoyed it!!  
  
Buh bye now!!!.......... 


	5. A Belated Valentine's Day Special

LOTR With A TWIST!  
  
A Belated Valentine's Day Special  
  
Here we are, finally at chapter number 5. This was meant to be posted yesterday, but it wasn't finished by then, and so it is belated. Becky is me, even though my name is Tiffany. Andy and Maddy are two people I made up. Sinéad is Willow, and Darian...well, Darian is Darian! Sorry it took so long to update, guys! What with school back and all that stuff, I'm not allowed on the computer so often. :(  
  
Oh, and in case anyone was wondering, I am a hamster.  
  
An evil hamster.  
  
^*^*^*^  
  
Gandalf came with Elrond as he walked out of the house, and called the fellowship to him.  
  
"This is my last word," Elrond told them. "The Ring-bearer is setting out on the Quest of Mount Doom. On him alone is any charge laid: neither to cast away the ring, nor to deliver it to any servant of the Enemy nor indeed to let any handle it, save members of the Company and the Council, and only then in gravest need. The others go with him as free companions, to –" here he glanced at Maddy, Andy and I, " – *help* him on his way. You may tarry, or come back, or turn aside into other paths, as chance allows. The further you go, the less easy will it be to withdraw; yet no oath or bond is laid upon you to go further than you will. For you do not yet know the strength of your hearts, and you cannot foresee what each may meet upon the road."  
  
"Faithless is he that says farewell when the road darkens," Gimli said.  
  
"Maybe," Elrond argued, "but let him not vow to walk in the dark, who has seen the nightfall."  
  
"Oh, oh, I've seen it!" Andy called out.  
  
Elrond rolled his eyes. "It appears that you did not quite understand. That was not a question."  
  
"...oh. Can we go now?"  
  
"Oh, alright. Go now, you're giving me grey hairs." Elrond waved them off.  
  
The Company slowly walked away in silence after a few farewells. They crossed the bridge and finally came to a high moor.  
  
"What we need is a song!" Maddy said happily.  
  
Aragorn stopped the rest of the fellowship and looked suspiciously at Mandy. "Sing then, if you wish to share a song."  
  
Maddy whispered something to me and Andy. I nodded and grinned.  
  
"OK," I said. "A one and a two and a one two three four!"  
  
"Buddy you're a boy make a big noise  
  
Playin' in the street gonna be a big man some day  
  
You got mud on yo' face  
  
You big disgrace  
  
Kickin' your can all over the place  
  
We will we will rock you  
  
We will we will rock you  
  
Buddy you're a young man hard man  
  
Shoutin' in the street gonna take on the world some day  
  
You got blood on yo' face  
  
You big disgrace  
  
Wavin' your banner all over the place  
  
We will we will rock you  
  
We will we will rock you  
  
Buddy you're an old man poor man  
  
Pleadin' with your eyes gonna make you some peace some day  
  
You got mud on your face  
  
You big disgrace  
  
Somebody better put you back in your place  
  
We will we will rock you  
  
We will we will rock you!"  
  
Following this came a little polite clapping and a cough from Boromir.  
  
We bowed low. Andy smiled. "As you can see that song had no connection to our situation whatsoever, and so begins the fun!"  
  
Legolas hi-fived us all. We then continued onward, toward nowhere really in particular, according to Maddy. It was a long and tiring walk, but the Elves of Insanity remained entirely happy!  
  
"Are we there yet?" I asked for the millionth time.  
  
"No," Aragorn sighed.  
  
"Oh. ...are we there yet?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Are we there yet?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Are we there yet?"  
  
"NO."  
  
"Are we there yet?"  
  
"NO!"  
  
"OK...now?"  
  
"NO!!! DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND, YOU WORTHLESS, IRRITATING CREATURE OF THE WOODS?! IT WILL TAKE MANY DAYS AND NIGHTS TO GET TO MORDOR! WE HAVE NOT EVEN YET REACHED OUR SECOND NIGHT!!"  
  
"Ooooooooh, I get it."  
  
"Thankyou."  
  
"...are we there yet?"  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!"  
  
^*^*^*^  
  
After many tiring (and extremely cold) days of walking over endless plains, the weather suddenly changed. The wind left and the sun came out. We reached at length a low ridge covered in holly-trees. There were high peaks in the distance. We were headed for the Dimrill Dale – the valley in between the mountains.  
  
There was a lot of boring talking, then Gandalf announced that we would be staying where we were for two nights. Where we were was Hollin, a land where elves no longer lived but 'the rocks still remember them', according to Legolas.  
  
We settled down for the night, and slept peacefully until morning.  
  
The next morning we lit a fire in a hollow, and had an excellent breakfast. Andy, Maddy, Legolas and I mainly just talked, but we played in the grass a little too.  
  
"Hey Lego-man," I said.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Did you know any of the elves that lived here?"  
  
"No. They were a different race to us. I did not know them."  
  
Suddenly we heard a crash behind us.  
  
"AAAAARGH! HELP!" Aragorn's voice rang out.  
  
We spun around.  
  
"What on Middle Earth is that?" Mandy whispered.  
  
"It's Sinéad," I replied. "Sinéad and Darian."  
  
"Darian!" Maddy recoiled in horror.  
  
"HEEEEEEELP!" Aragorn shrieked.  
  
"Alright, who am I sitting on?" Darian said, getting up.  
  
"Me!" Aragorn said angrily, jumping up and pointing his sword tip at Darian's throat.  
  
"Should we save him?" Andy wondered."  
  
"Nah," I said. "Let's go talk to my sister." We walked over to meet Sinéad, who was looking around her suspiciously.  
  
"Hi Sinéad," I said.  
  
"Hi," said Andy and Maddy in turn.  
  
"Oh, it's you," said Sinéad. "Hello. Where am I?"  
  
"Don't you recognise it?" I asked.  
  
"No..."  
  
"Dude, you're in Middle Earth!" exclaimed Maddy. "And you're an elf!"  
  
"I am?" asked Sinéad. "Hey, I am! And so are you guys! But then...what's Darian?"  
  
Andy went up to Aragorn and pulled Darian away from him. "He's a hobbit."  
  
Darian pulled out of Andy's grasp. "I could have got out of that one myself. Aragorn ain't so strong. And I am not a hobbit! Oh, wait, I am."  
  
"Hey, how did you guys end up here?" Maddy asked.  
  
"We were at karate, doing some sparring. I had been teamed up with Darian here. I fell into a portal and Darian followed to try and save me."  
  
The three of us burst out laughing.  
  
"Hey," Darian said irritably. "Somebody had to protect the lady."  
  
^*^*^*^  
  
Awww, how sweet...LegolasLover is gonna kill me. Well, time for some lovely mindless gabber!  
  
PIPPINpIRATE: Awww, no vanilla coke? =P Oh well. Nice to see you like my story, but it's just too bad for you that I am ALWAYS the recreated Gollum voice!  
  
Preciousss...we wantsssssss it...yess, yess we doesss...gollum, gollum.  
  
So THERE! =)  
  
Elf with a lightsaber: Don't worry, I won't kill Frodo. (That was LegolasLover's story anyways.) I would have some Elvish in this story, but I have no feasible idea of how to speak it! Jeez...I really have to learn don't I? Where did you learn it from? Please tell me!  
  
OMG, Is that all the reviews? Only TWO?! Come on people! You can do better than this! Is my story getting boring or something?! Flames, reviews, I don't care! I just need more to answer!  
  
Thanks!  
  
Ciao,  
  
GubblebumPony the evil hamster and Hamtaro freak, for those of you who know what it is. It's so CUTE, you just have to watch it! Kudos to all my reviewers! *hands chocolate to all reviewers* You're beautiful! *sniff* Byes! 


	6. Undiephobia?

LOTR With A TWIST  
  
Undie-phobia?  
  
Hello people! This is chapter six as you can see, and the plot is apparently getting thicker!...Because now we got LegolasLover and DARIAN!! Darian in reality does NOT have a crush on LegolasLover, but he does in this story. Because It's funny. And LegolasLover is about to strangle me. Well, enough talk! Get reading!  
  
It was the middle of the night, and all the Fellowship was asleep, but for the Elves of Insanity (which now thanks to Sinéad had a fifth member). We were well and wide awake, talking and laughing quietly. And don't forget the plotting. Oh yes, we were doing some of that too.  
  
"I wanna play a prank on Darian," said Sinéad, smiling evilly. "Let's do something to his hair. Or worse."  
  
"I'll go for worse," I replied happily.  
  
"Me too," said Legolas. "Anyone else?"  
  
"Hell yes," said Andy and Maddy simultaneously. We all laughed.  
  
"So, what should we do Sinéad? I hear you're the expert on these things," Maddy said, turning to her. We all watched her expectantly as she sat in thought. Finally she spoke.  
  
"I reckon we should do lotsa stuff. Y'know, like cockroaches in his shoes, dirty underwear on his head, glue on his pillow...that sorta stuff," she stated.  
  
"I vote all those things and more!" Andy cried. "So, whose underwear are we using?"  
  
"Not it!" Legolas said quickly.  
  
"No, we should use women's underwear," I suggested. Legolas sighed with relief.  
  
"Yeah! Like, say, bras and g-strings!" Andy agreed.  
  
"What are g-strings?" Legolas asked, confused. No-one answered for a second. Then Maddy leaned over and whispered in his ear.  
  
Legolas' eyes grew wide. "Oh," he said quietly. "Do any of you...wear these...things?"  
  
Andy slowly raised a hand. Everyone stared at her. "What? They're comfy!" she defended. Then she realised the real reason they were looking. "Oh, no you don't, you're not using –"  
  
Legolas reached into Andy's bag and pulled out a lacy red g-string. Suddenly realising what he was doing, he threw the undies into the air, causing them to land on Darian's face. Legolas quickly rubbed his hands in the dirt, a terrified expression on his face.  
  
We giggled and began pulling underwear out of each other's bags and throwing them at Darian. After that, we carefully applied lipstick, mascara, blush, eyeliner and eye shadow to his face. Then we gave him a manicure and polished his nails fluoro-pink. We shoved my Care Bear teddy into his arms and finished off by putting little bows and hair lackeys all through his hair. Just for fun, we also put a hand mirror in his spare hand.  
  
Then we just stood back and admired our masterpiece. Andy leant on Legolas' shoulder. "We did good," she said. Legolas nodded and inconspicuously rubbed his dirty hands on Andy's back. "Let's catch some z's," he said.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The scream echoed through the trees and over the mountains, causing the very ground to shake and in the process, awakening all beings within about a thousand kilometres. This, of course, including the fellowship.  
  
Gandalf jerked upward. "Orcs!" he yelled. "The orcs are upon us!"  
  
"No, just Darian waking up," Maddy chirped happily. Gandalf gave her a quizzical look, then glanced over at Darian.  
  
"What in the name of Elrond have they done to the poor hobbit?"  
  
Darian, meanwhile, was asking himself the same question. He slowly put the hand mirror down and picked up the Care Bear.  
  
"I love you. Will you be my friend?" it said. Darian threw it away. This was all Becky's fault! Her, Maddy and Andy had to be the cause of this. He stood up, causing all the underwear to fall off him except Andy's g-string, which he tucked into his belt.. He then stormed over to the elves.  
  
"Can we help you?" I asked pleasantly.  
  
"Yes, you ca –"  
  
"I think I see the problem," Maddy said, pulling the underwear out of Darian's belt. He flushed bright red.  
  
"Yeah thanks, that'll be all," he muttered sarcastically, spinning on his heel and walking away. Andy followed him.  
  
"Hey Daz," she said.  
  
The hobbit tried to raise an eyebrow at her but failed miserably. "Yeah, what?"  
  
"You like Sinéad don't you?"  
  
Darian turned red again. "Yeah, what's your point?"  
  
"Well, I may not know her as much as Becky, but I think I can give you some tips that may be helpful, if you know what I mean."  
  
A smile crossed Darian's face. "Tell me more."  
  
Mwahahahaha!! I am evil! LegolasLover is now walking out of the room saying, "Oh no...oh no..." repeatedly. Yes. I have lotsa plans for chapter seven...lotsa evil plans. And stuff. Yeah, well, R&R. Oh yeah, and speaking of reviews...  
  
Eowyn Skywalker/Elf with a lightsaber: Oh no, you got deleted? That's not good news. Glad to hear my story isn't getting boring...thanks!  
  
the counter: Not necessarily. Don't you have something better to do?  
  
sugarcraze49: I am cool? Thanks a lot! It's nice to know you like it too...are you an evil hamster too? You sound suspiciously like one...  
  
NaruNaruChi-San: Good good good!  
  
LilyClairePotter: Yeah. I really like Spanish, it is like...my absolute favourite language. You speak it too? Cool! I don't know if that's two or three reviewers now who do...or maybe it's four? I lose count. Anyway, keep smiling!  
  
Little Miss Dramatic 45: Yeah that's right, EVIL hampster...and I'm coming to get Yes. Anyway, you like Aragorn? I don't. He annoys me very muchly. Oh well, whatever. Lotsa people like him. Cool elven! I still don't know where I can learn that...  
  
pIPPINpIRATE: Vanilla Coke? Let me have some! Or is it all gone now? I bet is, you...mean...head, you...Uhhhh...anyhow, Oh yes, make Aragorn pay...Master must be happy for this, yes, precious....-  
  
saria64: Yay! I'm insane!!!!! runs around room tipping flour on head EEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeee eEEEEEEEEEEE and so on and so forth.  
  
Estelisminegoaway: Sinéad is LegolasLover, "I" or Becky is of course me, the one, the only, GubblebumPony. polite clapping Yes, yes, I am wonderful, my fans. Wait, what was this review about again?  
  
How many reviews is that? counts Eight! Not including the counter, eight reviews! Yay!!!!!! does the happy dance Be awaiting chapter seven! 


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